Visualize.Us

The earth below us

The sky above us

The people around us

The songs inside us

Thoughts we shared

Beautiful memories we have

The hope between us

Visualize us. Remember us

The one that I miss the most

Everyday in every step of this life

The hope in me despite past failures

The every tears I cried

The green color in my darkest path

The answers, I know you are

And I hope you are

Understand, my incomplete

Inside my weakness and lack of understanding

I do love you

I love you

I may not the one you expected

Selfish, independent, and persistent

Understand, accept me

I know you do

Gently words

Visualize me. Keep me

I did believe, I belong to no one

I did

Restricted, limited those I avoided

Until you came along

Faraway from easy path

Nothing worth while is easy

If you keep me, you will know

Where my heart is

Remember me. Remember us

I know I can count on you

Build me. Build us. Sanctuary

Guide me. Guide us

Understand, I am is what I am

Not perfect

Just like us

And I am apologizing

That is why we will try forever

to Visualize… Us

Ayu Putrinda Kurnia. Aug 20, 2012. 10.32am. listening: To Build a Home - Cinematic Orchestra

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

The First Time I Saw Jupiter

Every Body is Beautiful

No, I don't want to be someone else

No, I am not a beautiful queen

No, I am not the Einstein

I don't know everything

But I know that, I know who I am

No, I am not perfect

No, I don't always look pretty

No, I don't have the slender size

I am no Superwoman

But I know that, I'm beautiful

Beautiful me

It's okay not to be okay

It's okay hating your shadow in the mirror

It's hard to be true to who you are

I know it's hard to follow your heart

Doesn't mean you're losing

Everybody's bruising

Don't listen to them

Do not easily down by their demands

Men just don't understand

Do not make yourself less

If you can be more

Don't put the blame on you

If they feel insecure

Trust me, there's nothing wrong with you

Every body is BEAUTIFUL

Every woman is BEAUTIFUL

Who says that you're not pretty?

Who says that you're not worth it?

That's the price of beauty

You Women, are princesses in every worthy men

You Women, are stronger than superheroes

Listen to me, listen...

You can reach the sky

You can do everything

You can be the best

Because YOU WOMEN are BEAUTIFUL just the way you are :)

Ayu Putrinda Kurnia. January 1st, 2012. listening to Who You Are by Jessie J & Who Says by Selena Gomez

What's the use?

Destiny

Or is it just some kind of any other life jokes?

I used to have my eyes on you

Put my heart and expectation

Into whom I expect you to be

You used to be my hope

When I was little

Don't you know oh don't you know

That I have always my eyes on you

Baby oh dear baby

I grew up and I met you

Knowing you 180 degrees

From what I expected, that's just too..

Disappointed

There are goods in you

I saw that, I feel it

But somehow that wasn't enough

I need your sincerity, your will

To love..

What's the use I'm being here

Right beside you, be with you

All the time that you need me to

What's the use of me here

Hearing you soaring other women's name

What's the use of me waiting

Waiting you to change, into fully blooming

I'm standing here, oh dear

At the end of the road

No more..no more

If you hear me saying jokes

That's the truth, realize that

Dear baby...

Oh what's the use..what's the use

I'm not an option

I am your destination

I am what I am

If you're looking for perfection

You may took the wrong direction

I am no close to perfection

If you stay this way

I'll be gladly to say...

FAREWELL

to you, my dear Saturday lately :)

Ayu Putrinda Kurnia. Dec 4th, 2011. 12:48am. Tune: Best Thing I Never Had - Beyonce

Renungan di atas awan

Daydreamer. Label yang tepat jika berpikir tentang ilmu cara berpikir. Abstrak dan tidak biasa, saya suka label itu. Beda itu baik, tapi saya tidak mencoba untuk berbeda, hanya jadi saya. Begitu juga dengan saya dan awan. Saya dan awan terhubung, tidak dengan benang merah, tidak dengan cinta. Awan itu inspirasi, matahari itu tintanya dan saya sang budak.

Saya berpikir tentang hati, tentang hidup, dan tentang cinta pagi ini. Ya, di atas awan dan diantara matahari. Tidak, bukan metamorfosa sebagai burung tapi saya layak terbang seperti burung. Saya habiskan jam dan menit membaca kalimat hidup dan kalimat cinta. Bertanya, "Mengapa saya begitu pahit? Mengapa saya takut akan bahagia?". Cinta itu fiksi. Cemburu itu kata pengantar. Saya memikirkan kamu, di atas awan. Ya, KAMU.

Kamu yang sekiranya tidak pernah melihat. Atau mungkin masih berada di alam sadar. Apa yang saya rasakan? Saya RINDU. Itu sudah pasti. Namun rindu tidak semudah 1 2 3. Kamu pernah bilang, "Dimana hatimu?". Hati saya disini, saya masih merasa dan saya masih ada. Saya ingin cinta, tapi takut jatuh cinta. Jangan ditanya kenapa saya takut. Tidak ada jawaban, mungkin hanya bisu.

Apa, apa yang saya mau? Saya tidak akan menunggu. Tidak akan berada disana mendengarkan untuk sakit hati. Saya berjalan terus. Jikalau kamu sadar akan saya, maka kejarlah. Saya tidak akan mencari dan tidak akan menunggu. Kompleks, saya tahu. Tapi suatu yang jelas, suatu yg mungkin ada... kamu :)

Hidup. Tujuan saya tidak disini, saya ingin lebih. Awan tahu setinggi ia saya akan terbang, ia tahu saya tidak akan berhenti pada sekedar bermimpi. Saya akhirnya tahu, impian itu dan ambisi ini. Kehidupan di ujung atlantis, mencoba menghidupi kehidupan saya. Benar apa adanya kata-kata sahabat, do what you love.. believe in yourself :) and I believe in ME.

Dewasa. Kata yang tidak mudah, namun sejuk. Izinkan saya, kamu dan kita. Dewasa :)

Ayu Putrinda Kurnia. Nov 6th, 2011. Tiger Airways TR 2274. Sitting in between clouds and the sun, listening to Chemistry by One Night Only

Cul-de-sacs

I have seen you, years

I labeled you as anonymous

We were strangers

You were standing in blank spot

I was there, smiling in the shadow

I have met dead-ends

Broken hearts, bittersweet symphony

I barely remember your name

You were never there

In my life, you're just a dreamy fog

I don't guess life

Still, it surprise me

It broughts you again

To my blue life, that almost fainted

What are the odds?

Its too soon to be happy

Too bitter to deny

Don't blame me for questioning

Is it smile or tears, that you'll bring

Or is it another cul-de-sac?

Oh, these walls

These invisible walls that I built

Protect me

From my own feeling

That destructive form called l.o.v.e

Oh, these walls

Blind me from what I see

Silence me from what I hear

You...

I don't need anymore dead-end

Keep your words, keep them

If it's not for me..

Ayu Putrinda Kurnia. Oct 16th, 2011. 8:25pm. tune: Turning Tables by Adele

cause we speak in silence every time our eyes meet

you!

pause. I think I lost in words

you! again.

one annoyingly happy creature

smile through analyzing eyes

you!

rewind. I remember you,yes I do

a man with bright sky written on his face

you! again.

who always talk in silence language

every time our eyes meet

you!

play. We were vomiting words,finally

a broken silence, a five seconds of sunny smile

in cloudy November

you! again.

captured few of my heart euphoria

which,I denied

I!

pause. a 20% normal,a 80% prestige

a bitter heart, abandoned affection

captured you in her bitter smile

which,her denied

I!

rewind. broken in uncountable times

a fearless dreamer who fear her own heart

not the failure,she fears

tiresome, of looping heart affection

I!

play. remember you in her everyday prayers

she talks in silence language

her prestige thinks faster than sound

her hope is not to hope

she sits,waiting. you

she's in denial but in hope

she's apologizing

in pink February

she's watching. you,in colorful forms

she's patiently waiting your smile

you and sunny smile,her ultimate favorite

she,looking at past times and misses

every single thing you ever did that bothered her

the annoyingly happy of silence spoken words

every time their eyes meet

yet,she wears her hidden sweetest smile

and humming

"Kamu. Aku tak akan mengejarmu. Setiap sudut semesta memantulkanmu. Kembali." :)

 

xx, Ayu Putrinda Kurnia 13.02.11 20:16, tunes: Nothing Like You and I by The Perishers

You can fall for everyone who treats you special. Just make sure at the end, you know your way home to the one who treats you as their life..